Are You There Catholicism? Its Me, Jenny

This week I read more novels than graphics. I also found myself feeling very uncomfortable with a knowing pain in my gut because the book I'm about to give my thoughts on hits a nerve with me. I have since getting married in 2012 really explored my relationship with the church and if I wanted to still be a part of it so I'm probably way ahead in terms of knowing how I feel about the church than maybe the author was at the time of writing her book. The book in question is Are You There God? It's Me, Ellen by Ellen Coyne

One of the things about me you need to understand is that I tend to be very understanding. I listen to people and try to see things from thier perspective. I see the merits in most things.

This book is about journalist Ellen Coyne and her journey back to Catholicism. She doesn't agree with thier policies or the source material on which the religion is based but yet still feels she needs Catholicism. To me from reading my reading of the book she is confusing childhood nostalgia, the comfort of farmilar rituals and the years of brainwashing we all endured with Faith.

I am a few years older than Ellen. Like her I went to a Catholic school (they where all Catholic schools back then) I grew up with one foot in Louth and one in Meath. I spent my school days in a council estate in Drogheda and my weekends and Holidays on a farm in Beamore. I was baptised, sang for the church choir, I made my communion, confirmation and even got married in a church to appease older family members all of which I regret.

Ellen mentions that the Catholic church is sadly becoming right wing but the truth is Catholicism has always been right wing. It has also always been corrupt. She says Catholicism is part of our culture and while that's technically true it's also flawed as Catholicism has actually destroyed our culture replacing it with a lot of lies. Ireland was a pagan place and the church took the parts it wanted and used them to ease the conversion of the people to Christianity discarding the rest. Catholicism has destroyed and distorted many cultures with this method even if you put all that aside your still left with the abuses of power just look to the children buried in a mass grave at Tuam, those abused by priests and nuns in the name of Catholicism.

Ellen says the Catholic guilt makes us better people but I disagree with this it was the guilt and shame that led ordinary people to turn thier backs on thier own daughters allowing the church to work them for thier sins in The Laundries. Taking thier babies away from them to send to good Catholic homes.

She hopes that the church can be changed from within but I don't think that something so backward and tbh evil can ever be turned around.

I have faith I believe in something I would even go so far as to say I believe in God but I do not believe in the Bible and I do not believe in Catholicism and for good reason. People do not need to be guilted into being good people. In Catholicism your born a sinner and you spend your entire life repenting. Anyone who's made thier first confession will probably tell you they needed to make up sins for it because they couldn't go in with nothing. I don't believe people are born sinners. I don't believe in a religion that sees women as less than men. I don't believe in a religion that is built on the oppression and exclusion of others. You can have Faith without religion. No god worth worshiping would agree with Catholicism.

This books was uncomfortable to read but I'm glad I did. I'm happy Ellen wrote this book even if I don't agree with her on everything. I hope she someday realises that she doesn't need guilt to be a good person. 2/5